I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
