She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dick very happy bro
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
