You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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