It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
