Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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