Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
