Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
