Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
