Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
