My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
