Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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