Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize