So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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