i barfeds in our rink
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
