Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
