Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Boobs are out for the taking
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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