Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
