wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize