Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize