and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
