There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
