I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
