So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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