About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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