We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
