Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
