Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
