you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
