if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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