Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he was CRYING into my vagina
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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