I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
