??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
MIDGETS
????
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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