I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Found your dick twin last night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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