after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
