nut hugger
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize