It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize