I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Last time i carry you out of a forest
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
