"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're a waste of cheezeits
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
