I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want her autograph on my taint
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
