he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
