you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
