im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
