we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
