so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
