Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize