You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
