I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
