i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
