do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
