When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
