and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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