We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
