I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
