exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
