She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
