There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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