So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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