how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
