She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
