walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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