I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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