i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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